Everyone has this friend on Facebook. If you DON’T have this friend on Facebook, then [SPOILERS] you ARE this friend on Facebook. Also you are the worst. There are a few people whose company I enjoy in real life and whose online behavior is that of an insane weirdo. These are the types of people that can only post in the form of rants, screed, diatribes and various other WALLS OF GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT YELLING WORDS.

My Patrons got a TOTALLY DIFFERENT VERSION OF THE LAST SHARKSPLODE COMIC with four TOTALLY DIFFERENT JOKES!!! WHAT?!?!? I KNOW!!! THEY’RE SO SMART AND ATTRACTIVE AND LUCKY!!!!!!!

Dearest Sharksploders, please help me get my Patreon over the $2000 hump. Comics is my full time job, but it doesn’t currently pay full time money. I’ve been doing a lot of freelance work lately (which distracts me from making comics) to make ends meet, and I’ve agreed to attend more conventions this year than I really feel comfortable with (which REALLY distracts me from making comics) out of financial fear. Every little bit helps and is QUITE appreciated.

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I know these people are just venting, but I feel like they don’t understand that their venting has an audience, and not, perhaps, the audience to which their venting is directed. If you, like me, only really pay attention to to your close friends and family on Facebook, then any generalized “WAKE UP SHEEPLE!” type ranting that you post just makes your close friends and family think you’re an unhinged lunatic. Most people are not celebrities, and thus not privy to a large audience of strangers at which to broadcast ill-informed, un-researched, overly aggressive opinions.

That is, unless you still follow all your racist friends from high school, or your homophobic aunts, uncles and grandparents. Then you have a larger issue which is, why do you do this to yourself? Why do you invite negativity into your life? I’m sure e-yelling at these people feels great, but you’re also in e-earshot of all of your otherwise cool e-online-web-biz-2.0-friends and you are making them feel weird. It would feel SO MUCH better to just unfollow, block or otherwise ignore all the negative shitwads in your life. Ignore those shitwads! You deserve it. So do they.